I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
