So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
