If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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