Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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