she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
