i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
