You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
