I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What a dumb baby whore.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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