I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
