Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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