y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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