things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
