and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
