I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize