My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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