I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
