Ambien. No doubt about it.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize