last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
