Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
