we're blogging at a bar
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
