Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize