he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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