I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
