we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
