The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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