To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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