its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
