Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
