Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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