i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
