she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I didn't notice because vodka
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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