Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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