i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hippo gnu deer
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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