Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Randomize
