I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
