i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
