You're my little dorito
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
