Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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