Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
