And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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