He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
