Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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