too bad you live with your parents still
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
