Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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