last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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