Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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