Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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