Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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