this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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