1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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