i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
time to smoke my breakfast
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
