If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize