(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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