he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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