It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize