OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
