I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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