just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
