I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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