Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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