So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
