god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
