Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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