So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
